Year on year people set new year resolutions with great intensions, but the fact is by the end of January as many as 80% of resolutions are broken.

According to a Consumer Insights survey for the UK, the top spot, with 59% of respondents, was a resolution to eat healthier, with exercising and losing weight not far behind.

There’s lots of great information we can freely access about nutrition and healthy lifestyle.

So why do we self-sabotage, give-in to old habits and break our resolutions so quickly?

Because they are just wishes.

Just wanting something isn’t enough.

Habits are hard-wired into your brain. You need tools and a strategy, if you want to adjust your thought patterns, break habits and change them for something better.

I’ve been successfully working with a number of clients recently around weight management, and mindset is everything.

Global diet and weight management is a billion-dollar industry, and it’s increasing.

People come back time and time again, trying one diet after the next, but they often fail. Most diets require eating patterns that are dramatically different from every-day life; extreme calorie restriction, eliminating entire food groups, or rigid meal timing. These approaches work temporarily but are nearly impossible to maintain long-term alongside work, social life, and family obligations. Once people return to previous eating patterns, weight typically returns.

And similarly, we are seeing with the rise of weight loss medications, many people are regaining the weight very quickly after stopping, as well as having the risks of potential side-effects.

For long-term, sustainable weight management, psychological, behavioural, and emotional patterns need to be addressed, something that diets and medications usually ignore.

The work I’ve been doing with my clients addresses this:

·         Helping people recognise emotional triggers and changing how to respond to them.

·         Tackling subconscious blocks that cause resistance and self-sabotage.

·         Developing intrinsic motivation to become “a person who eats in a balanced way”

✨ With the interest I’ve been having in this area, I decided to offer a short online, live, mini-course for mindset around weight management – starting next month in February.

Helping with those resolutions!

The lives are group sessions, making them more affordable than 1-to-1 private consultations (and much cheaper than the monthly cost of weight loss drugs); and also includes resources that you can also download and keep.

Dear anxious mid-life woman,

As I sit down to write this letter, I can't help but think of all the challenges you are facing in your day-to-day life. I know that the weight of responsibility that comes with balancing work, family, and possibly supporting aging parents can feel overwhelming. Made worse by the fact that now you also have to contend with the physical and emotional symptoms of menopause, which can make every day feel like a struggle.

But I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey. As a fellow mid-life woman, I know how it feels to face these challenges head-on. And I also know that you have the strength and resilience to overcome them.

You are well practiced at juggling the many strands of your life, but right now I understand how your skills and stamina can feel tested to the limits. It’s not easy maintaining your career and taking care of your loved ones while you feel sapped of energy, flat, and are struggling with brain fog and lack of sleep. Balancing the needs of everyone and everything in your life with those of your own. It must be exhausting.

As you transition into menopause, your body is going through hormonal changes, that may mean you are experiencing a range of physical and emotional symptoms, including hot flushes and night sweats, poor sleep, mood swings and anxiety to name but a few. It can make daily life seem harder than it used to, but fortunately there are resources available to help you through this difficult time.

Please do allow yourself some time to take care of you, both physically and emotionally, it’s so important. I know you already know that eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and practising self-care are important, but this doesn’t need to be complicated. If you are going to make any changes to any of these areas of your life, take it one small step at a time and most importantly make it enjoyable; then you’ll have a better chance of sticking to your plan. Choose healthy foods you actually enjoy, keep moving in ways that you find fun and engage in activities that truly give you pleasure; whether that is reading, walking in nature, crafting, knitting, listening to music, a hot bath; whatever makes you smile and helps you relax.

A shift in perspective can also be a powerful tool in improving your well-being. So, I just wanted to remind you that menopause is a natural part of life, and that you can choose to view it as a positive transition into a new phase of your life. In China, menopause is often referred to as "Second Spring", a time of renewal and growth. You are moving towards a time to embrace your newfound freedom and explore new interests and passions. Whether it's taking up a new hobby or pursuing a long-held dream, the possibilities are endless.

Of course, I appreciate that balancing all of your challenges right now can feel difficult. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed, like you're constantly running on a hamster wheel with no end in sight. But you really do have the strength and resilience to overcome these challenges.

You have spent your life gathering wisdom and skills that will serve you well in this new phase of your life. You have the experience and knowledge to navigate difficult situations and come out on the other side stronger and more resilient than ever before.

So, as you navigate this time in your life, I want you to know that you have a community of mid-life sisters who understand what you are going through. You are not alone in this journey, and during the tough times, know that you can reach out and ask for help.

Embrace this new phase of your life with open arms and know that you have the strength to overcome any challenges that come your way.

With love from a fellow mid-life sister, Zena.

As we step into the new year, it's an opportune moment to reflect on our mindset and explore the possibilities that lie ahead for ourselves. For many, the turn of the year brings with it a sense of renewal and the promise of positive change. However, for those of us grappling with anxiety, the prospect of a fresh start might feel daunting, as negative thinking casts a shadow over our perception of ourselves and our circumstances.

Understanding the impact of anxiety on our mental and physical well-being is crucial in paving the way for a transformative journey towards a more comfortable and calm life. Anxiety often propels us into the fight-or-flight mode, a state where our minds are hyper-focused on potential threats and dangers, leaving little room for rational thought or positive introspection. This constant state of alertness not only shapes our perspective but also takes a toll on our overall health.

We don’t have to remain trapped in this anxious overthinking, with unpleasant thoughts going round and round in our mind. By using solution-focused hypnotherapy we can lead ourselves toward a new mindset and, consequently, new possibilities.

Anxiety, in its various forms, can manifest as a persistent unease, fear, or worry that overshadows our daily lives. This mental burden often stems from an incessant loop of negative thoughts that infiltrate our minds, convincing us of impending disaster or unworthiness. When trapped in this cycle of negative thinking, imagining everything in the light of what might go wrong, we can find it challenging to appreciate the present moment, let alone envisage a brighter future.

Moreover, the physiological consequences of chronic anxiety are profound. Prolonged periods of stress and anxiety trigger the release of cortisol, commonly known as the stress hormone, which, over time, can compromise our immune system, disrupt sleep patterns, and contribute to a host of health issues.

Solution-focused hypnotherapy offers a safe, effective way forward for those seeking a transformation in their mindset. This approach doesn't delve into the intricacies and details of past traumas or problems; instead, it concentrates on identifying and building on the individual's strengths and resources. By shifting the focus from problems to solutions, clients are guided towards a more positive and resourceful state of mind.

In the midst of anxiety, we can often find ourselves dwelling on thoughts of what could go wrong in the future or what has gone wrong in the past. This negative thinking creates a mental fog that obscures the present moment and stifles the potential for joy and even at times, the ability to simply cope with daily life. Using Solution-focused hypnotherapy I encourage my clients to break free from this cycle by cultivating practical mindfulness techniques, redirecting their attention to the present and finding realistic and sustainable personal steps that can be taken to help them move forward in a more positive, calm way.

One of the key principles of solution-focused hypnotherapy involves training the mind to notice the small wins, moments of joy, and positive aspects of life. By consciously acknowledging and appreciating these aspects, individuals gradually shift their focus from the shadows of anxiety to the brighter moments in the present.

I invite you to consider and practice this for yourself; because when we start recognising and noticing the things that make us smile, the small victories we achieve each day, we begin to create a positive feedback loop. This shift in focus not only helps alleviate anxiety but also fosters a clearer, more resourceful state of mind.

As we learn to spend more time in the present moment, the benefits extend beyond the relief from anxiety. This new, clearer state of mind facilitates better decision-making, as the fog of negative thinking dissipates, allowing rational thoughts to prevail. Creative thinking flourishes in an environment free from the constraints of anxiety, opening the door to innovative solutions and novel perspectives.

Life, in essence, starts feeling easier and more enjoyable. The newfound clarity and resilience pave the way for embracing everyday challenges with a more resourceful, positive outlook, fostering a sense of empowerment and control.

In the realm of solution-focused hypnotherapy, the journey from anxiety to a new mindset brimming with possibilities is not just theoretical; it's an achievable reality. By embracing the power of now, noticing the small wins, and redirecting focus towards the positive aspects of life, individuals can forge a path to a more enjoyable and fulfilling existence.

As we embark on this new year ahead, know that you already hold the power to live your life in more calm and relaxed way. We really do have amazing transformative potential always present, but sometimes forgotten, that lies within our mindset. Solution-focused hypnotherapy offers a roadmap to break free from the clutches of anxiety, unlock this potential and open the door to a brighter, more optimistic future. With a shift in mindset, life becomes not just a series of challenges but a canvas upon which new possibilities can be painted, one positive thought at a time.

Want to listen to this blog post instead? 👇

Cognitive biases are inherent mental shortcuts that influence our thinking and decision-making processes. While these shortcuts can be helpful in some situations, they can also lead to distorted thinking patterns and inaccurate perceptions of reality, which can negatively impact mental health.

By understanding cognitive bias, we can gain awareness of our thinking patterns and learn to recognise when these biases are at play. This self-awareness can help reduce anxiety and improve mental well-being by allowing us to challenge and correct our biases.

Negative cognitive biases can act like systematic errors in thinking that can affect our judgements, decisions, and behaviours. These biases occur due to various factors such as our past experiences, beliefs, emotions, social influences, and knowledge. We all have negative cognitive biases; they form part of normal human behaviours, but they can also have a significant impact on our mental health and well-being.

There are many different types of cognitive biases, but they can generally be grouped into a few categories. The four outlined below also include an illustration of how sometimes these biases can work against us:

Cognitive biases can have a significant impact on our mental health, leading to negative emotions, maladaptive behaviours, and distorted perceptions of reality.

To understand why we can sometimes find ourselves falling down this vortex of worry , we have to look back at our ancestors. Life was hard for our ancestors and most of their decisions were based on how best to survive; how not to get eaten by creatures with big teeth, how not to get set upon by neighbouring tribes, how not to freeze to death and how not to starve. These are all quite negative, but if you think about it, they have to be to ensure our survival. If our ancestors were blasé about it all, we probably wouldn’t be here. And those humans who were good at thinking this way, were the ones who survived and passed this on to successive generations; reinforcing these biases towards the negative down through the ages.

Since those early days we have developed our more sophisticated intellectual part of our brains, the conscious part, the bit that interacts with the world, our sense of identity. But our more primitive part still exists and still holds a primary function of keeping us alive and well. But how this primitive part of the brain makes decisions is at times questionable. It is not an intellect, it is too primitive to make proper assessments of situations and it is not a modern innovator, it relies on negative parameters of depression, anger, and anxiety. It refers to a set of templates from past behaviours that resulted in us not dying.

Are these always the best solutions, no of course not, but they are if we are in immediate danger. Immediate danger, requires an immediate response and that’s when our primitive mind jumps in to save us with our honed fight and flight response, without our slower intellectual selves getting in the way. So, I’m glad that part of my brain still exists. But in more ordinary daily situations, where we may simply be out of our comfort zone or in a new unfamiliar situation or have a challenging situation to deal with, the best course of action probably isn’t to run away, get angry, fight, or hide. However, if our primitive brain ‘thinks’ that we might be in danger it steps into help and signals our internal pharmacy to drive us to behave in this way.

The more we allow our primitive mind to be in control, the more time we are going to spend experiencing negative emotions and feelings of anxiety. And the more time we spend feeling anxious, the more we are reinforcing the hypervigilance that keeps us looking out for the dangers. This feeds into our attentional bias of being more aware of the negatives, the perceived threats, which can affect decision-making, behaviours, and so on.

No wonder we can suffer from poor sleep with all that whirling around inside our brain.

The good news is, if we can spend more time experiencing life with our intellectual mind in charge, then we can feel more relaxed and positive. Just absorbing some of the information is this article using your intelligent brain, is allowing you to gain a better understanding about how your brain works, which in turn can allow you to make a proper assessment and start thinking about what small changes you can make towards more positive thinking and actions. By shifting your focus onto noticing more positive aspects of your life and the small things around you that make you smile, you can start shifting this primitive brain dominance and lessening the anxiety.

Addressing these biases and shifting focus requires practice. I might work with my clients to help them identify and challenge their biased thinking patterns, so that they can learn to remain clearer in their thinking and perhaps adapt behaviours. When we do something new, have a positive outcome and repeat the process, so we are laying down new habits; we are creating a positive feedback loop with new more helpful templates to refer to in our minds.

We can also start to help ourselves in easy to achieve small ways. Do not underestimate the power of simply getting better at noticing when things are going well. The little wins do add up. For example; the rain stopped just as you needed to get out of the car to go into the supermarket; you were lucky enough to pick up the last packet of your favourite biscuits and triple bonus the checkout you chose to pay at moved along quicker than the one next to it!

Small wins make us smile and smiling boosts our serotonin and positive feelings, and so now we are beginning to switch the direction of the vortex, moving up into a more positive, calmer state of being.

Make room for a little more of the things you enjoy doing, do things that help you to relax and feel calm. Giving more weight and energy to those positive thoughts, feelings and behaviours will shift those biases into a more positive direction. Doing so will reinforce your greater sense of well-being, happiness, and calm confidence.